Separation is a major life event that involves both emotional and practical considerations. Whether you're married, in a civil partnership, or cohabiting, understanding the steps involved can help make the process smoother. In this guide, we cover what separation means, how to begin, and what legal and financial arrangements you may need to make.
What is separation?
Separation happens when a couple decides to live apart, either temporarily or permanently. It can be an informal agreement between partners or a legally recognised process. There are different types of separation, including:
Informal separation: A couple decides to live apart but does not make any legal arrangements.
Trial separation: A couple agrees to separate for a period to assess whether they want to reconcile or divorce. You can learn more in our guide to trial separation.
Legal separation: Also known as a judicial separation, this is a formal arrangement where a court recognises the separation without ending the marriage or civil partnership.
Where to start when you’re separating
Going through a separation can feel overwhelming, but taking the right steps early on can help make the process smoother. Here’s what to focus on:
Have an honest conversation – If possible, discuss the decision openly with your partner. Understanding each other’s expectations can prevent misunderstandings later.
Consider mediation – If you’re struggling to agree on finances, property, or childcare, mediation can help you reach a fair solution without going to court.
Plan your finances – A separation can impact your income, rent, mortgage, and household bills. Make a budget to prepare for any financial changes.
Once you’ve decided to separate, it’s important to agree on key practical matters such as:
Living arrangements – Will one of you move out, or will you continue living together temporarily?
Financial responsibilities – Who will cover rent, mortgage payments, bills, and debts?
Childcare arrangements – Where will the children live, and how will visitation be arranged?
Dividing shared assets – How will you split savings, investments, or valuable possessions like cars?
When should you use a separation agreement?
A separation agreement is a formal document that outlines financial and childcare arrangements during separation. While not legally binding, it can be used as evidence in court and offers clarity for both parties. It’s useful if:
You’re not ready for divorce but want a structured agreement.
You need clear financial arrangements, including who pays for what.
You need proof of separation for legal or financial purposes (e.g. mortgage applications or benefits claims).
Step by step: How to legally separate
Separating from a partner involves both practical and legal steps. Taking things one step at a time can help make the process smoother and avoid unnecessary stress. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Decide on separation terms
Before making any legal decisions, discuss key arrangements with your partner, if possible. This includes:
Living arrangements
Finances
Children and parenting responsibilities
If communication is difficult, mediation can help you reach a fair agreement.
2. Seek legal advice
Your rights will depend on whether you're married, in a civil partnership, or cohabiting. A solicitor can help you:
Understand your legal rights and responsibilities.
Protect your financial interests and assets.
Ensure any agreements you make are fair and legally sound.
3. Consider a separation agreement
A separation agreement is a formal document that outlines how finances, property, and childcare will be handled during the separation. While not legally binding, courts often take it into account if a dispute arises later. It’s useful if:
You want clear financial and childcare arrangements without divorcing immediately.
You need proof of separation for legal or financial reasons, such as applying for benefits or a mortgage.
4. Notify relevant organisations
Once you have agreed on key arrangements, update important organisations to avoid financial or legal issues. This includes:
Banks and building societies – Update joint accounts and direct debits.
Utility providers – Inform energy, water, and broadband companies if the account holder changes.
Mortgage lenders or landlords – Update tenancy agreements or mortgage details.
Local council – You may be eligible for a council tax reduction if you live alone.
5. Adjust financial arrangements
Separation can have a significant impact on your finances. To protect yourself:
Open a personal bank account if you don’t already have one.
Review direct debits and standing orders to ensure bills are covered.
Update insurance policies, including home and car insurance.
Make sure debts, including credit cards and loans, are in the correct names.
6. Update legal documents
Separation can affect existing legal documents, so it’s important to review and update them where needed:
Will – If your partner is named as a beneficiary, you may want to make changes.
Pensions – Update your nominated beneficiary if necessary.
Power of Attorney – If your ex-partner has control over medical or financial decisions, you may want to reconsider.
💡 Top tip: Even if you’re not planning to divorce immediately, updating your financial and legal documents now can help avoid complications in the future.
What happens if you have children?
When separating, ensuring your children’s well-being is the top priority. Separation can be an emotional time for them, so it’s important to create a stable, supportive environment that meets their needs.
Agreeing on custody and living arrangements
One of the biggest decisions you and your ex-partner will need to make is where the children will live and how they will spend time with each parent. Options include:
Joint custody – The child spends significant time with both parents.
Sole custody with visitation – The child primarily lives with one parent while the other has regular visitation.
Flexible arrangements – Some parents choose a schedule that works around work commitments and school.
If you can agree on a plan together, this can be formalised in a parenting plan. If disagreements arise, mediation or legal advice may help reach a fair solution.
Sorting out child maintenance
The parent who does not have day-to-day care of the child is usually responsible for contributing financially. Child maintenance payments help cover living costs, education, and other essentials. You can arrange this:
Privately – If both parents agree on an amount and payment method.
Through the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) – If an agreement cannot be reached, CMS can calculate payments based on income and enforce them if necessary.
Keeping financial arrangements clear and fair ensures your child’s needs continue to be met without unnecessary conflict.
When you can’t agree
If discussions become difficult, family mediation can help. A trained mediator will work with both parents to create a fair parenting plan that focuses on the child’s best interests. If mediation isn’t successful, legal action may be necessary, and a court can issue a child arrangement order to determine custody and visitation.
What happens to your home?
Your living situation after separating from a partner depends on whether you own or rent your home together. Here’s what you need to know in different scenarios:
If you own the home jointly
If you and your partner own the home together, there are several options for what happens next. You might decide to sell the property and split the proceeds, or one partner could buy the other out and take full ownership. In some cases, one partner may remain in the home temporarily - especially if there are children involved - until a more permanent arrangement is made.
If one partner owns the home
If the home is only in one partner’s name, the other person may not have an automatic right to stay. However, if they have contributed financially - such as paying towards the mortgage or making significant improvements - they might be able to claim a financial interest in the property. If this applies to you, it’s a good idea to seek legal advice to understand your rights and options.
If you rent the home
If you and your partner are both named on the tenancy agreement, you both have the legal right to stay in the property unless one of you chooses to move out. However, if only one partner is named on the tenancy, the other may not have legal rights to remain. In some cases, they may be able to apply to have the tenancy transferred into their name, particularly if they have children or other strong reasons to stay.
Who do you need to tell you’ve separated?
If you've separated, it's important to inform the right organisations to avoid issues with your finances. If you pay council tax, let your local council know - you may qualify for a discount if you now live alone. If you receive Housing Benefit or a council tax reduction, you’ll also need to update them about your change in circumstances. Separation can affect your benefits, so you should tell the relevant office handling your claim as soon as possible, as most benefits have a 30-day deadline for updates.
You may also want to notify:
Mortgage lenders or landlords – If your housing situation is changing.
Banks and financial institutions – If you have joint accounts or shared debts.
Utility providers – To update bills and avoid unnecessary costs.
Employers – If your separation affects your financial situation or emergency contacts.
Schools and childcare providers – If child arrangements will be changing.
FAQs
Do I need a solicitor to separate?
No, you don’t have to use a solicitor to separate. However, getting legal advice can help protect your rights, especially if you need to divide finances, make arrangements for children, or sort out housing matters. A divorce solicitor can help ensure everything is fair and legally sound.
How long do I have to be separated before I can get a divorce?
In the UK, you can apply for a divorce straight away under the no-fault divorce laws. This means you don’t need to prove blame or be separated for a certain period. Previously, couples had to be separated for two years if they both agreed to the divorce, or five years if only one person wanted it.
Can we live in the same house while separated?
Yes, you can. This is called an in-house separation, and many couples do it for financial or family reasons.
Final thoughts
Separation is a major life event that requires both emotional and legal considerations. Whether you choose an informal or legal separation, planning your next steps carefully can help make the transition smoother. Seeking legal advice and setting clear agreements on finances, property, and children will provide clarity and security during this challenging time.
Disclaimer: This article only provides general information and does not constitute professional advice. For any specific questions, consult a qualified legal professional.