Data Insight  ›  Santa’s Christmas Crimes Cost £3.8bn

Santa’s Christmas Crimes Cost £3.8bn

Flinn DolmanCo-Founder
Updated on 15th December 2023

From unauthorised flights to infringing IP rights, Santa breaks dozens of UK laws every Christmas Eve.

Imagine if Santa Claus, the beloved icon of holiday cheer, found himself on the naughty list with UK government authorities.

At Lawhive, we've decked the halls of legal analysis to unwrap the potential legal costs of Santa's jolly Christmas Eve jaunt across the UK .

It revealed a sack full of legal faux pas, leading to a bill that's more stuffed than a Christmas turkey.

Highlights:

  • 🎁 Intellectual Property Infringement: Santa might be sliding down a chimney of lawsuits, with a potential £1.2 billion in IP claims plus £10 million in legal fees.

  • ✈️ Aviation Violations: Santa’s sleigh, dashing through the no-fly zone, could amass fines of £175,000 for unlicensed frolics in the skies, and £15,000 in legal costs.

  • 🍷 Drink Driving and Speeding: With a sherry in one hand and reins in the other, Santa could face a £2,500 fine for drink driving and a sky-high £747 million in fines for zooming past the speed of light.

  • 🚗 ULEZ and Parking Fines: Santa’s sleigh is not Euro 4 emission standard compliant, incurring a £180 penalty charge notice. His rooftop parking antics would ring up a frosty £147 million in penalties.

  • 📜 Data Protection and Noise Pollution: Santa’s list-checking might cost more than expected, with a £17.5 million fine for data naughtiness. Plus, £66,780 for making a racket louder than reindeer hooves on rooftops.

  • 🏴‍☠️ Smuggling Charges: Dodging VAT and Customs Duty for his sack of goodies could land Santa with £1.2 billion in fines – and let's not forget the elf in the room, with charges for people smuggling and animal welfare violations.

  • ⚖️ Anti-Competitive Practices: Santa's free gift-giving spree may breach the Competition Act 1998. By monopolising the toy market with no-cost presents, he risks being accused of suppressing fair competition and engaging in aggressive commercial tactics.

Total Cost: £3,859,171,810

Methodology

  1. Checking the Law: First we identified the UK laws Santa breaks based on his very well-documented Christmas Eve rituals.

  2. Calculating the Costs: Next, we used UK legislation and legal precedent to estimate the frosty fines and financial penalties for each legal infraction, from rooftop parking tickets to high-flying aviation mishaps.

  3. Generating Quotes: Lastly, using Lawhive’s expertise and network of qualified solicitors, we calculated the costs of hiring professional help to guide Santa optimally through each legal mishap.

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