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Divorce Mediation

Embarking on the journey of divorce is never easy. It's a path paved with emotional challenges, tough decisions, and the daunting task of untangling shared lives. But amidst the upheaval, there's a beacon of hope if you’re seeking a more amicable resolution: divorce mediation. 

This process is not just about finding common ground; it's about redefining how you and your ex-partner can move forward separately with respect and understanding. 

In this article, we'll get right into the heart of divorce mediation, exploring how it offers a more friendly alternative to traditional divorce battles. From the nuts and bolts of how mediation works to its emotional and financial benefits, we'll guide you through everything you need to know. 

What is divorce mediation?

How does divorce mediation work?

Why should I try divorce mediation?

What should I expect from divorce mediation?

How might divorce mediation benefit children and family?

Can divorce mediation resolve financial and property disputes?

Is divorce mediation the right choice for everyone?

How should I prepare for my first mediation session?

What challenges might I face in divorce mediation?

How long does the divorce mediation process take?

Can mediated agreements be legally binding?

What happens if divorce mediation doesn’t resolve the dispute?

How do I find a qualified divorce mediator?

Is divorce mediation cheaper than court?

How much does divorce mediation cost?

What happens after successful divorce mediation? 

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What is divorce mediation?

Divorce mediation is a collaborative process in which a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps separating or divorcing couples reach agreements on aspects of their separation, including financial arrangements, property division, and child custody arrangements. 

Unlike traditional divorce proceedings, which often involve court battles and can be contentious, mediation focuses on negotiation and working together to find mutually acceptable solutions.

This approach to divorce is often faster, less stressful, and more cost-effective than traditional litigation. It's especially beneficial for couples who want to minimise the impact of their separation on children. 

How does divorce mediation work?

In divorce mediation, the mediator's role is not to make decisions for the couple but to support and facilitate communication, ensuring the process is productive. It helps both parties to find mutually agreeable solutions.

First, there will be an initial meeting where the mediator explains what will happen, establishes some ground rules, and assesses the couple’s readiness and commitment to mediation. Then, both parties will be asked to gather and share information, like financial documents or property valuations, to be negotiated. 

The mediator will help the couple explore their options, and offer alternative solutions to any disputes. This might happen in brainstorming sessions, or by asking the couple to think about the long-term impact of any agreements. 

Divorce mediators are trained to facilitate negotiations and discussions, as well as to manage emotions and make sure that both parties have the space and opportunity to express their views.

Once agreements are reached, the mediator will draft a summary of these agreements, known as a Memorandum of Understanding. This isn’t a legally binding document; it serves as a foundation for the legal documents that finalise the divorce. 

A divorce lawyer will review the Memorandum of Understanding and draft the legal documents, such as a consent order, to be submitted to the court for approval. 

Why should I try divorce mediation?

Mediation has many advantages. 

Divorce mediation can:

• Reduce conflict between each partner

• Give decision-making powers to each partner

• Improve communication

• Cost less

• Lead to a faster resolution

• Remain private and confidential 

• Allow for more creative and flexible solutions tailored to the unique needs of the family

• Reduce stress

• Set a foundation of respect and communication for the future

• Have higher compliance rates

Choosing mediation doesn’t mean you should forget about getting legal advice. It’s advised to seek legal advice before, during, and after mediation to ensure your rights are protected, and you understand the agreements fully. Contact our legal assessment team today to find out how our network of divorce lawyers can help.

What should I expect from divorce mediation?

Mediation can be emotionally taxing. You will discuss sensitive issues and make significant decisions about your future. You need to prepare for a range of emotions and consider any support mechanisms that might be available, such as counselling or support groups.

Success in mediation also often requires compromise. You should enter the process willing to consider different perspectives and make concessions for the greater good of reaching an agreement.

Remember: A mediator's role is to facilitate discussion and help uncover mutually agreeable solutions, not to make decisions for you. They are neutral and work for both of you to try and reach a fair outcome. 

How might divorce mediation benefit children and family?

Divorce mediation offers many benefits for children and the broader family dynamic. 

As mediation encourages respectful communication and cooperation, it reduces the likelihood of disagreements. Lowering this level of conflict helps shield children from the most harmful aspects of divorce, such as witnessing arguments or feeling caught in the middle.

A key part of mediation is prioritising the children’s needs and well-being. Mediators help you develop parenting plans that focus on the children’s best interests, considering their emotional, educational, and physical needs, and making sure that decisions made during the divorce process benefit the children.

Mediators also know and treat every family as unique, allowing for tailored solutions that fit the specific needs and circumstances of your family. You can negotiate agreements that reflect their schedules, priorities, and the children’s activities, providing flexibility that court-ordered arrangements may not offer.

One of the most important benefits of divorce mediation is that you will always be encouraged to think about how decisions will affect your children, and in some cases, a child specialist may be consulted to provide additional insight into the children’s needs.

Finally, as a family, mediation might also help you to keep financial resources that would otherwise be spent on going to court, which can be costly. 

Can divorce mediation resolve financial and property disputes?

Yes, divorce mediation can effectively resolve financial and property disputes. 

The mediation process will start with both of you disclosing all of your financial assets and liabilities. This would include bank accounts, investments, property, pensions, and debts. 

The mediator will help make sure everything that needs to be disclosed, has been. In some cases, they may suggest involving independent financial advisors or valuers to assess the value of any complex assets you might have, such as businesses or specialised investments.

Armed with a clear understanding of your financial landscape, the mediator then leads discussions between you to reach a fair division of your assets and liabilities. 

Dealing with financial and property disputes this way can be far quicker and cheaper than going to court. What's more, you both keep control over the outcome, which doesn’t always happen with court, and everything is private and confidential. 

However, divorce mediation can only resolve financial and property disputes if both of you are ready to be open, communicate amicably, and be fair in all matters related. If you have to go down the Financial Dispute Resolution Hearing road, things will look different. 

Is divorce mediation the right choice for everyone?

Divorce mediation does offer lots of benefits, including cost savings, reduced conflict, and more control over outcomes,  but it's not the right path for every couple.

Mediation is likely to be the right choice when both people are willing to engage in open and honest discussions, and consider each other’s needs and perspectives. You should both want to reach a fair agreement and minimise the amount of conflict or disagreement as much as possible. 

Mediation might not be suitable where there is history of domestic violence or abuse, as this requires a level of safety and equality that can’t be ensured in mediation. This can also be the case if there is a significant imbalance of power or control between the parties, particularly if one person in the party is a narcissist, which would make negotiations challenging. 

It also goes without saying that if there is any reason to believe that one person is hiding assets, not being truthful, or isn’t willing to cooperate and engage, mediation won’t work. As well as this, if either parties have untreated mental health issues that impact their ability to make reasoned decisions, mediation is not the right path. 

If you and your partner do fall into any of the circumstances not suitable for mediation, you should get legal advice so you both have the support and legal guidance to work through the divorce proceedings.

How should I prepare for my first mediation session?

If you and your partner prepare properly for your first mediation session, it can have a positive impact on the success of the process. 

By understanding the divorce mediation process, and what the role of the mediator is, you will be more open and aware of the process as it happens. Go into your first meeting with goals and priorities, and write down what you hope to achieve through mediation. This might include identifying your non-negotiables and where you are willing to compromise. 

You can also help yourself by getting all of the documents together that you might need, like your financial records, property documents, and any information related to children. This makes it easier when the time comes to discuss these negotiations and be transparent throughout. 

The biggest part though is in emotionally preparing yourself. It might help to practise some strategies that help manage your emotions and stress, like deep breathing, taking breaks during sessions, or getting the help of a therapist. If you are in the right emotional state, you will be able to think clearly. 

What challenges might I face in divorce mediation?

Divorce mediation is not without its challenges, and there may be many along the way. That’s not to say that it won’t work - it is in these moments that you need to stay resilient, and strong and be emotionally prepared to work through the challenges faced. 

There may be instances of:

• Emotional intensity and difficult conversations around child custody 

• Communication breakdowns

• Power imbalances

• Unrealistic expectations

• Financial complications and disagreements

• Lack of cooperation

• Concerns about legal rights

• Not agreeing on certain issues 

The mediator is trained in employing strategies to help you break through these challenges, and get to the point where you can reach agreements. They might even suggest a temporary break from mediation for you both to gain perspective and re-evaluate your priorities and negotiables. 

If you and your partner can’t overcome these challenges, then it might be time for you to consider going to court. Either way, you should get the support of a solicitor to help you make sure your rights are met. 

How long does the divorce mediation process take?

How long divorce mediation takes depends on the complexity of the issues to be resolved, how willing you both are to negotiate and when and how often you and the mediator are.

Unlike the formal court process, which can lead to lengthy delays due to crowded court calendars, mediation allows for more control over the timing.

Sometimes an agreement can be reached through mediation in just a few sessions over a couple of weeks, especially if the divorce is relatively amicable, the issues are straightforward, and both of you are well-prepared and motivated to resolve your differences.

More commonly, divorce mediation may span several weeks to a few months. This allows enough time for gathering necessary information, exploring options, and negotiating agreements on various issues. It's not unusual for mediation to require multiple sessions, as this gives you time to consider your options and make informed decisions.

In complex cases, or when you have difficulty reaching agreements, mediation can take months. Long-term mediation may involve additional experts, such as financial advisors or child psychologists, to help resolve specific issues.

Can mediated agreements be legally binding?

Yes, agreements reached through mediation can become legally binding, but the process to make them so involves a few additional steps. 

During mediation, the discussions and agreements reached are not automatically enforceable by law. Instead, they are documented in a written agreement known as a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). While this document reflects the consensus reached on various issues, by itself, it doesn't have legal force.

To turn these agreements into legally binding commitments, the terms need to be drafted into a formal legal document, which is done by a solicitor. For financial agreements, this document is called a consent order, and child arrangements concerning children are drafted into a child arrangement order. 

For financial agreements, the consent order needs to be sent to a family court for approval. They will review the agreement to make sure it is fair and just for you both, and that it serves the best interest of any children involved. Once the court has approved the order, it is then legally binding. 

What happens if divorce mediation doesn’t resolve the dispute?

If divorce mediation doesn’t resolve the dispute, you might consider getting a new mediator or other forms of dispute resolution, like arbitration.

Alternatively, you may get the help of a solicitor to negotiate directly on your behalf instead. Solicitors can use their legal expertise and knowledge to advocate for you and your interests.

You might also want to try getting specialist intervention, like financial advisors, child psychologists or social workers who might be able to propose different solutions or address the heart of the disagreements. 

If this doesn’t work, then it is time to seek court intervention. You can do this partially, by making some agreements legally binding, and then seeking court intervention for the unresolved disputes, or going to court for all parts of the agreement. This will depend on your specific case. 

How do I find a qualified divorce mediator?

Look for mediators with a strong family law background, or with specific training in divorce mediation. Many mediators are former solicitors and have some form of legal training, which is very beneficial in working through any legal issues you may have. 

You can look to the Family Mediation Council to find a local mediator or go to reputable solicitors who may be able to recommend a suitable divorce mediator.

Is divorce mediation cheaper than court?

Generally speaking and in straightforward, amicable cases divorce mediation is cheaper than going to court. While you still might consult with a solicitor, the overall legal fees are normally much lower where mediation is used before legal proceedings.

Most mediators offer fixed prices for mediation sessions, which are clear and upfront. This helps you to predict and plan how much it will cost you both. Going through the legal route of court can be unpredictable and costs can increase throughout the process. 

How much does divorce mediation cost?

Divorce mediation costs can vary, and depend on how many sessions you will need, and how long your negotiations will take. Generally, however, mediation is cheaper than divorce. 

Many mediators charge by the hour and costs range from £100-£300 per hour, but this can be more in some areas. Some mediators offer packages that include a set number of sessions for a flat fee.

If your mediation requires the involvement of other professionals, like financial advisors or child specialists, these fees will be added to the overall cost. 

On average, going through divorce mediation is likely to cost from a few hundred to several thousand pounds, and the simpler things are, the less it will all cost. 

What happens after successful divorce mediation?

After successful divorce mediation, the agreements you have both reached are officially formalised and made legally binding, setting the stage for the legal end of the marriage. 

The mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), which outlines all the agreements you have reached during mediation. The document is not legally binding but serves as a basis for the legal documents that will formalise the agreements.

The contents of the MOU are then used to draft the formal legal documents. For financial agreements, this usually involves creating a consent order, which details how assets and liabilities will be divided, any maintenance payments, and other financial arrangements. If there are children involved, a parenting plan or child arrangements order may be drafted, outlining custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and any other agreements regarding the children’s upbringing.

Before anything is signed, it's highly recommended (and often required) that each of your solicitors review the drafted legal documents. This ensures that the agreements are fair, reflect both of your intentions and meet legal standards. The solicitors can provide advice and suggest any necessary changes.

Once you and your solicitors are satisfied with the documents, they are signed. This step typically involves the consent order and any other relevant agreements.

Finally, the signed consent order is submitted to the court for approval. The court reviews the order to ensure it is fair and just. Assuming the court approves, the consent order becomes legally binding, enforcing the financial arrangements agreed upon during mediation. It’s important to note that the court retains the discretion to request adjustments if it deems the agreement unfair to either party or the children.

Now that the mediation agreements are legal, you must both follow the agreed terms. This might involve transferring property, making financial arrangements (such as closing joint accounts, refinancing mortgages, or starting maintenance payments), and following the agreed-upon parenting plan.

The divorce is finalised through a separate legal process, which officially ends the marriage. The process includes filing for divorce with the court and meeting all legal requirements for dissolution.

After successful mediation and the implementation of agreements, it may still be necessary to revisit and adjust arrangements over time, especially concerning children. Changes in circumstances, such as relocation, changes in employment, or the evolving needs of children, may mean that modifications to the original agreements are needed.

Get divorce mediation help with Lawhive

Divorce can be challenging, but you don't have to do it alone. At Lawhive, our network of specialist divorce lawyers is on hand to provide fast, affordable legal advice and services to help you through what is likely to be a difficult, confusing time.

Get in touch today to find out more and get a free case assessment and fixed-fee quote.