Breaking up is never easy, and when children are involved, things can become even more complicated. Unlike married couples, unmarried partners don’t automatically have the same legal protections when it comes to property, finances, and parental responsibilities.
If you’re an unmarried couple with a child splitting up, it’s important to understand your legal rights and responsibilities - from who gets custody to who is responsible for financial support.
What rights do unmarried couples with children have in the UK?
In the UK, unmarried couples do not have the same legal rights as married couples, even if they have lived together for many years or have children together. Your legal rights depend on things like parental responsibility, property ownership and if you have a cohabitation agreement in order.
💡 Editor's insight: "A cohabitation agreement is a legal agreement between unmarried couples. It defines things like how property, assets and finances should be divided if there is a separation."
Parental rights explained
Who has legal parental responsibility?
In the UK, parental responsibility (PR) is the legal right to make important decisions about a child's upbringing. This includes things like:
Where the child lives
Their education
Medical treatment
Religious upbringing
Parental responsibility is not automatic for all parents. Mothers automatically have parental responsibility, however, fathers only have parental responsibility if:
They were married to the mother at the time of birth.
They are named on the child’s birth certificate (for births registered after 1 December 2003 in England and Wales).
They obtain a Parental Responsibility Agreement or Court Order.
💡 Editor's insight: "Anyone with parental responsibility has certain legal responsibilities. They must protect the child and provide them with a home. They are responsible for making important decisions regarding discipline, education and medical treatment."
Who gets custody of the child after a breakup?
There are no set rules about which parent a child should live with after a breakup. The parents can negotiate access rights between themselves. Otherwise, the courts will always consider the best interests of the child.
Options include:
Sole custody: The child lives with one parent, and the other has visitation rights.
Shared custody: The child splits time between both parents.
If parents cannot agree on custody arrangements, they may need to go through family mediation or apply for a Child Arrangements Order. This is essentially an order that defines things like who a child lives with or can have contact with.
Property rights explained
Who gets to stay in the home?
Unlike married couples, unmarried partners do not have an automatic right to stay in the family home unless their name is on the property title or rental agreement.
If the house is owned by one partner:
The owner has the legal right to ask the other to leave.
If the non-owner has contributed towards the mortgage or renovations, they may be able to claim a 'beneficial interest' in the home.
If the house is rented:
If the tenancy is in one person’s name, they have the right to stay.
If both names are on the tenancy, both have equal rights to stay, and the tenancy can be transferred.
If children are involved, the courts may allow the parent with primary custody to stay in the home, even if they are not the legal owner.
Maintenance rights
Even though unmarried couples don’t have a financial obligation to each other, both parents do have a legal duty to support their children financially. When it comes to maintenance, the parent who does not have day-to-day care of the child (the ‘non-resident parent’) typically pays maintenance to the parent who does ( the ‘resident parent’).
How is child maintenance arranged?
There are three ways to arrange child maintenance:
A private agreement: Parents agree on payments between themselves.
Through the Child Maintenance Service (CMS): If parents cannot agree, the CMS calculates payments based on income.
Court-ordered maintenance: Used in more complex cases, such as when a parent is wealthy or lives abroad.
The amount of child maintenance is based on:
The paying parent’s gross income
How many children need support
How often the child stays overnight with each parent
💡 If a parent refuses to pay child maintenance, the CMS can enforce payments through wage deductions or legal action.
What to do next
If you’re an unmarried couple with children splitting up, here are the key steps to take:
Decide on custody and living arrangements: Where will the child live? Will you share custody?
Sort out child maintenance: Agree on financial support or use the CMS.
Resolve property and financial matters: If one partner owns the home, the other may need to find alternative housing.
Update legal documents: If you had a cohabitation agreement, check how it affects your breakup.
Consider mediation: If you can’t agree on key issues, mediation can help avoid court battles.
If an agreement can't be reached, legal advice may be necessary. Consulting a family law solicitor can help you understand your rights and options.
FAQs
What happens when an unmarried couple with children split up?
When an unmarried couple with children split up:
The child’s living arrangements must be decided.
The parent without primary custody must pay child maintenance.
If the parents can’t agree, they may need mediation or a court order.
Unlike divorce, there is no automatic right to financial support between partners, but financial claims for children can be made.
Who has more rights over a child when unmarried?
The mother automatically has parental responsibility from birth. The father only has parental responsibility if he is named on the birth certificate (after December 2003) or has a court order. Both parents have equal legal rights and responsibilities once parental responsibility is established.
Final thoughts
Splitting up as an unmarried couple with children can be complex, but understanding your legal rights can help make the process smoother. If you’re unsure about your legal rights, speaking to a family law solicitor can help you protect your interests and ensure the best outcome for your child.
References
Who has parental responsibility from Gov.UK
Disclaimer: This article only provides general information and does not constitute professional advice. For any specific questions, consult a legal expert.